It's not Sue-Sue

The Partner gave me a Tom-Tom GPS navigation system for Christmas. This is a great gift for me because it resolves my "always getting lost" problem and also tickles the geek in me.

When setting it up and selecting options, I decide I want it to have an Australian accent because that is the hottest accent on the planet.

The Tom-Tom came equipped with maps and satellite imagery for the "US and Canada", and "Guam". I had to think about this for a bit. I could understand if it came with "and Mexico", but Guam? To confirm my understanding that Guam is an island in the Pacific (and not reachable via ferry from Cape Cod), I consult with Google Earth (which rocks). I confirm my understanding of Guam and I decide to uninstall the maps for Guam, as I will rarely be driving there. I mean, even if I fly there, take the Tom-Tom and rent a car, it is a pretty small island. I also do not really see myself going there.

Anyway, enough of Guam. My Australian navigation assistant (Ken) has a real attitude. If I opt to go out of the predetermined path he selects, he gets all in my face - "what are you doing, mate - turn around! you're going the wrong way!" This was amusing the first few times. Now I am annoyed. I am wondering if the British accent voice is the same way (Todd). I expect such behavior of the American accent voice (Rich).

So far I have only used it to find an LL Bean outlet store near me and it worked perfectly. Other than that I have just been playing around with it and getting it mad at me or watching me on the map moving around Boston (it has a pretty cool 3D display).

Remember, it's not Sue-Sue, its Tom-Tom.

Remember Herbie the Dentist "Elf"?

I was watching "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" last night and had to make the following observations:

Herbie the "Elf" makes a new friend (or does he...?)

• Has anyone else noticed that the "elf" Herbie is the only "elf" that does not have pointy ears ? He is also the only one who has hair (very gay blond hair too). The other elves all have beady eyes, no hair and pointed ears. Kind of like Vulcans, and Celine Dion. The other interesting thing is his lack of interest in toy making, which we know is an elf's true calling. I am thinking that Herbie must be the bastard son of Santa, planted in the Elf community of Christmastown in order to hide him from Mrs. Claus. That is the most logical explanation.
• Santa should be ashamed of himself, and not just because of his bastard son Herbie. After Rudolph's nose cover pops off and his deception is discovered during the Reindeer Games, Santa is horrified, and tells Rudolph's father (Donner, as in from "Donner and Blitzen") that he should be "ashamed of himself". I was shocked. I told Rick the Bird that the real Santa would never behave in such a manner.
• By the way, Donner and Blitzen are my favorite reindeers. After all, their names mean "Thunder and Lightning" in German and that is, well, awesome.

Happy Holidays!!

Some good news!

David's cancer is in remission! We got the news today from the results of his latest CT scan. As David said, "I got what I wanted for Christmas this year". That means at least three months he does not have to deal with any chemo - excellent. Now we can really just enjoy the holidays without that hanging over our heads.

Funny work story

So if any of you actually read this blog, you know that I work in IT. I am also sure that most of you have heard some of the many "funny user computer support" stories, some fake, some real, that are floating around out there. So maybe you won't think this story is so funny - but I did (and it really happened to me).

I am walking down the hall when one of my co-workers jumps out of her cube (we have a massive cube farm) and calls out to me saying she is having a "terrible problem". Now this user is actually pretty computer savvy and is not prone to dramatics so I immediately assume there is a real problem. I also like this co-worker a lot, so I want to help her right away (I actually like all of my co-workers, for real, but this one is extra cool). She tells me her scanner is scanning everything into blank documents. Somewhat relieved (as this is hardly work stopping type problem, and I have other scanners I can set up), I run the scan and indeed, it gives a blank document.

As scanning documents is fairly important in her job, I decide to quickly remove the scanner and replace it. As I start, I open it up to remove her document to give back to her and discover there is no document in the scanner. I turned and asked her if she had removed the document already. She was totally red faced and said she must have never actually put it on the scanner "platen glass" (for some reason I love the term "platen glass"). Just in case, I take her document and try to scan it. Sure enough, it scans normally.

We both start laughing loudly and, as a result, cube farm "prairie dogging" ensues.

Why?

Why do large, chain supermarkets and department stores install sometimes up to 20 registers for checkout, but never have more than say 6 open at any time?

Just curious, that's all.

Air America

I returned to Boston from DC today on the US Air shuttle. I got to the airport early and asked to get on an earlier shuttle flight. They were able to do it but mistakenly issued me a first class ticket. After a moment of hesitation, the ticket agent said, "it's my mistake, take it and enjoy the flight". So I was very excited that I would now be upgraded to "potato chips" from "pretzels" on this flight.

The flight was already boarding so I rushed to it and got to my seat. Lo and behold, who is sitting in the row in front of me? Sandra Day O'Connor! Yep - her, the Supreme Court Justice - my god. So I sit down behind her and can't believe it.

THEN who walks on? Kerry Healy! Soon to be former Lt. Governor of MA, recently defeated by Deval Patrick for the Governorship. Then they close the door, and start the whole airplane safety video when suddenly the video stops, and the door of the plane is re-opened to allow one more passenger. And who was that? Karl Rove! Yes, THAT Karl Rove! I still cannot believe it. He sat down diagonally in front of me across the aisle. I could not look away, right behind Kerry Healy. It might as well have been the republican convention. I was thinking, this Rove guy gets to fly on Air Force One - what is he doing on this US Air Shuttle?

Other than Kerry Healy, I have no idea what brought the others to Boston.

True Story.

Back in DC - woohoo and Ugh at the same time

Traveling to DC again today. I arrive at Logan Airport at 2, I have tickets for the 4:45 shuttle, I am thinking that maybe I can get on earlier flight, they suggest the 3:45, I tentatively and timidly agree.... The entire scenario sounding eerily like this terrible experience!

But No! This time things are going my way. The plane arrives, it leaves, the plane is mostly empty, I am tempted by the shameless US Airways/Bank of America VISA promotion being made by the flight attendants, I get to DC earlier than expected and with a pretty nice view of the city coming into National Airport, I must say. Everything was finally going my way with this DC trip, except...

I did not consider the timing that well. My change of flights put me into DC and into DC traffic at 5:20 pm. Apparently, DC rivals Boston in its rush hour travel woes. In fact, it is so similar, I almost forgot I was on some Potomac River road rushing up to Bethesda, and thought I was on Storrow Drive along the Charles River. Alas, it took me an hour to drive what had taken me 15-20 minutes in the past.

Thankfully, the hotel had a fully stocked bar and friendly bartendress to welcome me and nurse my rush hour wounds. I do love this city. There is a Metro station right next door so I am going to run into downtown tomorrow when I get some time.

The Lion, the Witch and the "Wardrobe"

I was watching the Chronicles of Narnia again the other night (come on now, a geek like me never watches such a movie just once or twice, especially with a new high def TV). I had to wonder, "why a Wardrobe?". I mean, it could have been anything, right?

"The Lion, the Witch and the Broom Closet"
"The Lion, the Witch and the Pantry"
"The Lion, the Witch and the Hope Chest"

By why stop with furniture? The opportunities are endless....

"The Lion, the Witch and the Airport Bar"
"The Lion, the Witch and the Swingers Lounge"

Sometimes I just don't understand where they come up with specifics about titles. Of course, it is pretty specific - not quite so much as "Snakes on a Plane", but still...

To Dude, or not to Dude

Dude (noun), from the biblical Duderotomy - 1. A familiar person or friend. 2. An exclamation of excitement or surprise ("Dude!"). 3. An exclamation of disappointment ("Dude..."). 4. An exclamation of confusion ("Dude?").

Until recently, I have been somewhat intimidated by the word "Dude". I have never been entirely certain when it is appropriate to use it, while others toss it around so naturally. I always feared that I would sound like some geek trying to sound cool, like I was playing with the cool words.

Not anymore! I have been watching this season of "Amazing Race" and I have learned that "Dude" is a completely universal word. In fact, you can have entire conversations using only the word "Dude" and have it be understood by both parties, as is often the case with hotties Tyler and James. It apparently can mean anything, and its meaning is derived completely by the tone with which it is delivered. See the following soon to be used in real life example:

Fancy Waiter: Would you care for another glass of Boujoulais Magnifique 1987 with your Filet du Bouef Marienne, Monsieur?
Me: Dude!

Furthermore, I have learned that "Dude" is NOT gender specific. Despite my initial belief that it referred to males, apparently it does not. Rob on Amazing Race refers to his girlfriend Kimberly as "dude" all the time. See the following hopefully not soon to be real life example (again):

Lady at Airport Security: Sir, you forgot to remove your notebook computer from its carrying case - you will have to step aside and have it swabbed for biologicals.
Me: Dude....

See ya, Dude.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

I have been offline for a while, sorry about that. November has been a long and busy month. Thankfully, it ended with vacation and Thanksgiving - basically I just gave thanks for getting through the month.

A quick recap of some of the high points:

I had to head off to Washington, DC for a conference and it was something else. I had a nice time down there. The people of DC seem so much nicer than Boston. I had a great time there. I have to head back there this week for training. I hope the travel is better this time though, the last time the only shuttle flight that was canceled was mine (naturally). And I had to wait for six hours before another opened up. Ugh.

The democrats took back the house and the senate. Finally, some sanity in America. Of course, the Senate majority revolves around Joe Lieberman, who is really more of a republican, elected by republicans. Having the dems back in power will take some of the sting away during the next two years. How much more buffoonery can we take, anyway?

I had to move into a new, smaller cube at work in a new part of our office. Amazing how much difference 2 feet can make. At least I get more natural light there.

Work has been nutty. We are growing fast, and I have been working hard to be sure that the support systems have been in place to support it. I feel like all I do is work or think about work. Luckily I now have a staff in place to help with the growth. Otherwise I would have been given a nice bed in Shadybrook by now.

Yes, Shadybrook. If there are any other General Hospital viewers out there then you know Luke and Laura were reunited when a miracle drug revived Laura, briefly in November. Unfortunately, she returned to catatonia fairly quickly (no, it is not a former Soviet republic, it is a state of psychosis - I checked). I am a sap when it comes to Luke and Laura.

I bought a high def television, a 40 inch LCD Sony and promptly watched like 16 hours of Star Wars in high definition on Cinemax this month. Hot stuff guys. High def is truly hot. Now I understand what the "HD" channels in the high 800's on the cable channels are for!

Travel Woes

You know, I can't win sometimes. Even with the best intentions, it just won't go my way.

Today I have a ticket on the 4:45 US Air shuttle from Reagan National Airport to Boston. I left the conference early and arrived at the airport at 2. I have to check in at the ticket counter to get my boarding pass, and decide to see if I can get on an earlier flight. As I go there, I realize there is an extraordinarily long line at security.

I get to the agent at 2:15. She tells me that she can get me on the 2:45 shuttle. A fearful glance at security convinced me that I would not get to the gate in time. She said there was nothing earlier than my 4:45. Just before deciding that I would settle for my original time and just get a magazine, she shrieks, "Oh- an opening on the 3:45 just came up" and before I could say OK or anything, she changed my ticket to the 3:45. Well, that is something.

I head to the security line, which has somehow disappeared during the last ten minutes. I easily pass through (remembering to remove my notebook computer for once - I always seem to forget this stupid rule and force a "swabbing for biologicals", whatever that is). I get to the gate as they are finishing boarding the 2:45 shuttle. So it turns out I could have made that one after all. Oh well, it is only another hour, correct?

INCORRECT. As soon as they close the gate for the 2:45, they announce that the 3:45 has been canceled and all passengers need to make alternate arrangements. HA? I had been on the 4:45 and was quite content with that until Miss "I can get you on the 3:45" chimed in. So I rush up to the gate and swear to them that I was originally on the 4:45 anyway. Too bad, all filled up. Earliest flight available now to me was 7 forty frickin five.

All of this because I decided to try to get an earlier flight. The double annoyance is that if I took the originally offered earlier flight I would have gotten out 5 hours earlier. Even if I had touched nothing, and stuck with the original, I would have gotten out 3 hours earlier.

I wanted to punch someone, so I decided instead to find airport internet access and purchase unnecessary things over the internet. But alas, no public internet was available - and my battery was low, and everyone else on Earth was in there hogging the available electrical outlets. So, I was forced *gasp*, to buy a book and read it.

Clever Commercial

I love it when commercials are amusing. This one is my current favorite. Look for all the detail.

Any DC Readers?

I am going to be spending some significant time in the Nation's Capitol over the next two months for work (conferences and training). I have been there many times in my life but not for several years.

Any recommendations for good restaurants (something nice to go to with co-workers/clients), as well as any night life spots to visit?

Just looking for some input.

"I only use it for medical purposes"

Yeah, right.

Pop culture is full of references for the use of feel good items for "medicinal purposes" From Granny's moonshine on the "Beverly Hillbillies" to Bones' Romulan Ale in "Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan", questionable consumables are passed off as therapeutic. This is wonderful, of course.

I am very grateful for this excuse, it has come in quite handy. Personally, I use chocolate fudge brownies "for medicinal purposes". Oh, and French Fries too. Once I categorize something as "medicinal purposes", all bad attributes (like amount of total fat, calories, cholesterol, etc.) are nullified. After all, when you hear about something like aspirin, you only hear how it prevents heart attacks, not how it also prevents proper blood clotting in the event of extreme bleeding.

Chocolate has well known medicinal purposes - it raises your Seratonin levels, which boosts your metabolism and overall state of well being. French fries just taste so damned good.

I hate Grammar Check

You know, in Microsoft Word, the thing that corrects your grammar or at least points out how bad your grammar is? It seems that everything I type in Word or Outlook now is full of green squiggle lines. I would turn it off, but I do find it useful for locating unnecessary double spaces.

I can see why this might be useful for official memos and other documents, but in email? I do not really want to know about misplaced dangling participles and run-on sentences in my e-mails.

Sometimes I wonder if the green color is meant to convey "friendly constructive criticism" rather than a screaming "YOU'RE WRONG" (like the way red squiggle lines yell at you about misspelled words), but I doubt that the code writers at Microsoft were really thinking about how we feel.

Thank you, G4

G4 is my current favorite cable channel. It provides me with daily doses of the best comedy every produced and treated like crap by viewers and its own network, "Arrested Development" as well as all the Star Trek (original and Next Generation), that I could ever wish for.

And now with the newly enhanced versions of the original Star Trek being shown each week, my DVR is busier than ever. And if you have not seen these enhanced episodes, give them a shot. They actually went in and redid the special effects shots using current state of the art CGI techniques, but toning it down enough to keep it in line with the original feel of the show. It is cool though.

So to G4, thanks for catering to a Geek like me.

Lieberman can't keep his own comments straight

Anyone who has read my politically oriented posts know how I feel about Joe Lieberman. But this video, posted at You Tube, really demonstrates why this man must be sent packing.

Unfortunately, it appears that the people of CT are preparing to send him back to Washington, even though he ignored the wishes of his party. He leads in the polls because CT republicans plan to vote for him over their own candidate. You know, that says something right there. With the direction this country is heading, it seems clear that anyone who supports the "stay the course" ineptitude of the failed Bush administration really needs to be sent home.

Check the video - you'll see what I mean.

How can any intelligent people still back the Bush republicans (and Joe Lieberman)? It boggles my mind.

Hi Everyone

I have been so overwelmed at work that I have not been able to post any social commentaries. And what a shame - so much to comment on socially:

• Project Runway
• Congressional Misconduct with Pages
• Bridezillas
• The Massachusetts Gubernatorial Race
• Etc.

I'll get back to it soon. FINALLY getting some very needed help at work and hoping that things calm down a bit.

Project Runway

So I have been watching "Project Runway" on Bravo. My only question is, where have I been? Why have I not seen this show before?

I have always loved the tension on "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race" (two shows I happily welcomed back this past week), but this show makes those two look like Sesame Street. I will have to get the DVDs.

Why is it ....

... that the character of the "lost son"/"bad boy"/ "rebel" always drives some vintage car or motorcycle?

I am watching the new CBS show "Jericho" - bizarre and mostly boring doomsday story. But a central character is one of these "lost son" characters, the apparent family bad boy who returns to town after five years to collect much needed money from his family.

When he arrives, he removes a completely unmolested car cover off of a perfectly preserved 1960's era vintage automobile. Why is it that bad boy lost sons always have such cars? Or motorcycles? Can't they for once, just have an Elantra or something? I'd have loved it if he had removed the tarp and it unveiled a new Beetle.

And are we really supposed to believe that this car sat in this city parking garage, covered with a tarp, completely untouched, for FIVE YEARS? And GAWD, he is flat broke.