Priory of Scion

Let me introduce you to the newest member of my family. He rocks.


My new Scion TC - he rocks

Enough Already!

I never want to hear a news weather person say "we really could use the rain" ever again. Throughout April it was totally dry. Over and over again you would hear it said on the news one way or another:

"We really could use the rain"
"We need some of those April showers"

Well guess what? Careful what you wish for! Any more rain and we will all spontaneously evolve gills I think.

We have enough rain now!

If we were cartoons....

When David and I stopped at Disneyland while visting a friend in LA, he insisted we get a caricature drawn of us. The experience was interesting. We had to sit perfectly still making intense eye contact with a complete stranger while crowds passed by oggling it all and making comments about it (we could not see it until it was done, which took about 30 minutes).



So I guess this is how we would look in a Saturday morning cartoon version of our lives. Of course, the bird is missing, but I am sure that could be easily corrected. David's ears are not really that big either, I swear.

Clinton vs. Bush (2)

As Nelson would say, "Ha Ha!"

This comes as no surprise.

After all, as one particularly intelligent bumper sticker says, "No One Died When Clinton Lied".

Home Alone and Useless

The Partner David has always done the heavy house stuff around here. Not that I cannot do it, but he has always just done it and I have complied. Among these things are the maintenance of the boilers for the heat.

As any of you New Englanders know, we had a beautiful April - warm, sunny and just overall gorgeous. May, so far, has been less than stellar. In fact, this week it has been pretty cold. But David decided to shut off the boilers last weekend. This would not normally be a problem, because if there was a sudden need for heat, he would take care of it.

However, if you see my last entry, David was not around this week. When I got home from the hospital on his first day of chemotherapy (gone at hospital all day), I discovered a very cold home, with a shivering Bird. I realized quickly what was wrong, what I was unsure of how to deal with it.

I went to the basement and sure enough the boilers were not lit. I opened them up (after wrestling with the cover for a bit and losing a screw someplace in the process), and read the instructions. On first pass, they might as well have been in ancient Hebrew. However, on closer examination, I noticed that the main components were numbered. These numbers mapped back to the instructions, very similar to the LCD display on the copy machine at the office telling you where the paper gets jammed. I was hopeful, but when it came time to light the pilot, it would not light. Instead, all I could do was smell gas. Panicked, I decided to abort (and go to bed wearing sweats).

When David was more coherent, he showed me how to light the Pilot. Now, in my defense, the hole to stick in the match is not the same as the one marked in the instructions, and had it been, I would have succeeded.

But it made me realize that I am pretty clueless.

It's theirs to lose...

Let's hope they do not screw this up. Time for us to start getting this country on the right track again and turn around 6 + years of Republican mismanagment, criminal negligence and buffoonery.

The Decider

Excellent email making the rounds (this was forwarded to me by my beloved sister-in-law):

Inspired by the Tuesday 4/18/06 George W Bush quote regarding all of the Rumsfeld noise: I hear the voices and I read the front page and I hear the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what's best..."

"I'm the Decider"
by Roddy McCorley

Well, it took me awhile, but I finally realized what "I'm the decider"
reminds me of. It sounds like something a character in a Dr. Seuss book might say.

So with apologies to the late Mr. Geisel, here is some idle speculation as to what else such a character might say:

THE DECIDER

I'm the decider.
I pick and I choose.
I pick among whats.
And choose among whos.
And as I decide
Each particular day
The things I decide on
All turn out that way.
* I decided on Freedom
For all of Iraq.
And now that we have it,
I'm not looking back.
I decided on tax cuts
That just help the wealthy.
And Medicare changes
That aren't really healthy.
And parklands and wetlands
Who needs all that stuff?
I decided that none
Would be more than enough!
I decided that schools
All in all are the best
The less that they teach
And the more that they test.
I decided those wages
You need to get by
Are much better spent
On some CEO guy.
I decided your Wade
Which was versing your Roe
Is terribly awful
And just has to go.
I decided that levees
Are not really needed.
Now when hurricanes come
They can come unimpeded.
That old Constitution?
Well, I have decided
As"just goddam paper"
It should be derided.
I've decided gay marriage
Is icky and weird.
Above all other things,
It's the one to be feared.
And Cheney and Rummy
And Condi all know
That I'm the Decider -
They tell me it's so.
I'm the Decider
So watch what you say
Or I may decide
To have you whisked away.
Or I'll tap your phones.
Your e-mail I'll read.
`cause I'm the Decider -
Like Jesus decreed.
Yes, I'm the Decider
The finest alive
And I'm nuking Iran.
Now watch this drive!

Now that I think about it, Dr. Seuss anticipated this administration
pretty well when he wrote Yertle the Turtle...

Ha Ha!!

Laughing out load at This Blog. Read it and weep. I love sarcastic wit. Especially combined with "gross reality".

70 Days to Madonna

And counting.....

What a Great Weekend!

Not only was the weather beautiful both days (maybe a tad windy yesterday, but still very nice) - but David and I had a wonderful time with the fabulous Jen and her equally fabulous other half Bill at Bonfire on Saturday night. Bill and David are both celebrating their 45th Birthdays and Jen thought it was a great reason for us to get together and blow a lot of money on fabulous food, wine and cocktails.

And man, was she right. That place never disappoints and the company could not have been better. We were a little annoyed because they just redid the menu and no longer offer an unreal potato dish that we loved. But they did have "luscious" mashed potatoes, which I was told by the server was lavished in extra butter and cream. That sounded good to me so I was quickly reassured.

Somehow they figured out there was a birthday going on because David ordered key lime pie for dessert and they served it with a birthday candle. I was a bit taken aback, I mean, who has ever heard of birthday pie? Jen and I chose liquid desserts, namely a vanilla flavored cognac. You never feel truly sophisticated until you have swished cognac around in a snifter.

Of course, we never really need an excuse for good food, wine and cocktails, but sometimes it helps to justify the cost!

Gas Problems

You know, no matter how much they cry about low margins, cost of research, tax burdens, etc., I will NEVER be able to accept the excuses for the big oil companies' need to increase their gas prices.

Somewhere, in all the planning and logic regarding justification of these prices, someone is getting majorly screwed - and it is NOT the people who own stock in these companies. It is the average Joe Schmoe American, who is just trying to get by. But now it seems we are working just to put gas in our cars to get to work.

And now there are members of Congress who want to give us a whole $100 rebate to help us out. You know what? I would rather they just donate it to the research efforts to replace OIL as our primary fuel source.

Oh, I forgot, some people in public office do not want us to replace oil as our primary fuel source.

Officials Arrested Protesting the Sudanese

Usually our elected officials make little difference, or do very little that truly impresses me. However, five members of Congress were arrested today protesting at the Sudanese embassy in Washington. This is impressive.

Why were they protesting and therefore arrested? The Sudanese government is actively engaged in genocide against its own people in the Darfur region. Over 400,000 people innocent people have been brutally killed. For more information, see www.savedarfur.org/home.

It amazes me that this type of stuff can be going on. We are so determined to rid Iraq of Saddam Hussein, but essentially ignore the very obvious atrocities going on elsewhere? If Americans are supposed to be leaders in this world, how do we tolerate this type of stuff?

In 2001, President Bush noted in the margins of a report on the Rwandan genocide, "not on my watch". However, we actually work with the Sudanese government because they have become "allies in the war on terror". Do we really want them as our allies? In a war "against TERROR"? I know I don't.

No one is suggesting war on the Sudan or any American military intervention. But the beleagured African Union troops who are tasked with "observing" the situation can not do anything to help or protect the people. The UN should get involved, with peace keeping forces who are tasked with nothing more than protecting the innocent people from warlords. We (as a nation) need to get more vocal about getting the UN in there.

Fill out the online post card urging the President to make good on his promise. This can be done by going here.

Silk Plants

I prefer fake plants and flowers. Particularly now that they are so real looking. I prefer these because I cannot kill them. I know this because I have had several now for over a year and they still look great. Every REAL plant or flower I have purchased started looking yucky and would die within a few weeks.

Of course, they would not work well at a wake and funeral. There is something about the sweet smell of fresh, live cut flowers that make me think of death. I would not want that to be replaced by fake flowers.

But for other purposes, I prefer silk plants and flowers.

New White House Press Secretary

So Scott McClellan could not take it any more. Not really surprised. How long can you spew forth ridiculousness for a ridiculous man before the life is sucked from you?

Interesting though that his replacement is from FOX News. Very convenient for FOX. After all, they basically just reiterate anything the President says. And at least Tony Snow already knows the drill for FOX, so he can just issue releases exactly as they would have printed them.

Everyone wins! Oh, except the rest of us.

Breakdown Lane

When driving to work each morning, there is one exit from Route 2 in Lexington that takes me onto Route 128 North. Each morning, the traffic that is trying to get onto Route 128 South backs up and blocks the exit going to 128 North, so I inevitably end up in crawl traffic for a short distance until my exit pops up.

There is a break down lane here as well. Many people will decide to bypass waiting in line like good little doobies and just drive down the breakdown lane to get onto the exit. But there is a problem with this treachery. Just before the exit, there is an overpass and a slight turn to the right. Just behind this overpass, a state police officer dutifully waits and makes the drivers in the breakdown lane pull over for punishment (because there is nothing better for him to do). There is no warning and no room to escape (unless you pull a Thelma and Louise). This does not happen every morning, but often enough to know not to take any chances.

This morning, the slow crawl was particularly bad, and as I came to the overpass, I saw the state police officer acting all kinds of authoritative, having pulled over three people already. In my rear view mirror, there was this Cadillac barreling down the breakdown lane, blissfully unaware of what awaited him - arrogantly thinking of how he was blowing us all off. Suddenly, he sees the cop! The directional comes on and he tries to blend back into traffic, but guess what? No one would let him back in. Pissed, he was forced right up to the officer, who dutifully pulled him over - this happened about five cars behind me. I was highly amused as I watched the look on the driver's face. At the same time, it made me worry that such behavior could cause a sudden accident if he tried to force his way back in - thankfully he did not.

The best part of this is that a "No Driving In Breakdown Lane" sign is right there.

Harold and Kumar

Based on fabulous Jen's recommendation, I finally watched "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle" last night. Awesome.

The movie is very funny. Between Neil Patrick Harris playing himself as a PNP-ing sex fiend and Chris Meloni as a puss-spewing boil-covered Jesus-loving tow truck driver, the supporting cast is great enough. But the two main characters, your average Asian and Indian-American stoners trying to get a good Burger, totally own this movie. If you have ever had the munchies - this movie is one laugh riot worth catching.

Oh, and if you watch it, be sure to pay attention to the closing credits for additional hilarity.

Easter Ramblings....

How did we go from a guy getting nailed to a cross and dying (reportedly to free us from our own sin), to talking rabbits that deliver candy in a basket?

Ah, yes - the Christianization of the Pagans. Whenever colorful celebration and gaiety are included in Christian holidays, you can be sure that we have the Pagans to thank for it.

Christmas is a great example. When Christianity was growing and becoming dominant in Rome in the third century, the church moved the celebration of Christmas (which was a pretty somber thing back then) so that it would overshadow the Pagan Roman celebration of the Sun. You see, the Catholic Church wanted to squash the Pagan celebrations but there was a problem. This celebration was beloved. During the Celebration of the Sun, the Romans were festive and merry - they ate and drank, sang songs, gave each other gifts and decorated their houses and the trees (sound familiar?). The church allowed these traditions to carry onto Christmas so that the Pagans would adopt it more willingly. Over time, the distinction was lost.

As for Easter? Well, that is the Pagan celebration of fertility that was to be squashed. Those damned Pagans were having too much fun - they had the gall to actually associate the rebirth of the Spring with fertility - so sexuality and fertility were celebrated. The Church could have none of that. So what image can best quell any thoughts of sexuality and fertility? A man being nailed to a cross, that's what - so the church made sure Easter sits on top of this holiday. I'm sure the rabbit and the treats are tied in there somewhere.

Ponder that while eating chocolate eggs tomorrow.

Bastards!

I recently misplaced my ATM card. It will probably turn up, but rather than take a chance, I decided to report it missing and have a new one issued.

So after going through the whole process, I am told it will take "7-10 business days" to receive my replacement card. Talk about inconvenient. Now I actually have to go to the bank and interact with someone to get my money. That is so 20th century (as is taking 7-10 business days to get my replacement card).

So, the very next day I log into my bank account to do some online bill paying and what do I see? A $7.00 fee for "replacement card". Well, that took no time did it? So how come I have to wait so long for a replacement card that I have already paid for?

Now I would make a stink about this, but this bank is generally pretty good, is very gay friendly and actually has real free checking. So I will hold my tongue and just quietly say to myself, "Bastards!".

Uh oh

I just heard something in the other room smash, and the Partner is yelling at The Bird. The Bird must have knocked a precious cookie jar or something off the counter.

Details later.

Spring has Sprung

Wow, it really looks like Spring has arrived. I know this because I have a runny nose, my eyes are killing me and my sinuses ache. But I am loving it anyway.

You know we had a wimpy winter really - the ground never really froze and that is why all the flora are springing up all over the place. We are at least three weeks ahead of schedule on the birth of flowers and leaves.

Despite the early onset of allergies, I am not complaining - bring it on.