Conspiracy Theory

Recently while practicing the sacred ritual of working my ass off on the elliptical machine at the gym, I realized I was a captive audience.

There were three televisions in front of me, the one to my right showed some hockey game.  The one to the left showed some talk show on CNN.  The one directly in front of me?  An infomercial for a baking oven of some kind that featured all kinds of wonderfully delectable pastries.  I was listening to my iPod, so was not really doing anything other than drinking in the images.  And it suddenly occurred to me that I could not change the channel, nor could I turn it off.  I suppose I could have left, but still had 20 minutes left on my routine.  So there I was, watching the pastries - and getting nicely hungry.  And that hunger was only going to be satisfied by the consumption of pastries.  And it is the consumption of pastries that forces me to regularly go to the gym to do this routine in front of this television.

It was while thinking of this horrible endless cycle when I realized the truth!  It is a conspiracy between the Fitness and Fatness industries!