Is there a funnier word than 'mammaries'? The partner and I were watching "The Aviator" (which is a great movie, a must see) and there is this really well done scene where the Howard Hughes character played by Leonardo di Caprio (proving again the amazing range of his talent) is forced to defend the overexposure of "mammaries" in one of his movies starring Jane Bryant (yes, THAT Jane Bryant).
The scene is very amusing, with accusations of indecency flying. There is mention of photos to demonstrate and suddenly I am all, "did they show breasts in movies during the 30's and 40's?" when suddenly the pictures are put up and basically, we see the mammaries behind a blouse. A fairly conservative one by today's standards. Now, assuming these events actually took place, given that this is based on the real life of Howard Hughes, this scene takes on massive comic undertones, and is brilliantly played.
Although I am not sure how many times the word "mammaries" was used during the scene, it had to be at least 30 - once Hughes starts comparing Bryant's mammaries with other large-mammaried actresses of the time. The word "breast" was never mentioned - God forbid.
Anyway, my immature side was tickled by this scene.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
The Common Cold vs. "Intelligent Design"
I am getting over a really awful cold, the kind that hits hard, with little warning and then passes just as quickly. I probably caught from all the intimate embraces with family over four days of family holiday gatherings. Whenever I catch a cold, it is always the same - I feel a sore throat, then the next day, complete misery and then the day after that much better (today). During the height of it yesterday, between hacking coughs and blowing the nose, I pondered just how it is that a microscopic whatever can make me feel so sick.
And then I remembered the debate about "Intelligent Design". You know, I understand why some people feel the need to justify evolution in a religious sense. Their brains are telling them that science and evolution make sense, but they cannot give up on the Bible. They feel that in order for such a complex system of materials and life to have been created, an "intelligent force" had to be behind it.
The reality is they just cannot grasp the concept that life on Earth may just be one massive accident, a massive collision of the right ingredients coming together at the right place and the right time. Personally, I believe that this "accident" actually has happened in other parts of the universe, and is probably more common that Intelligent Design enthusiasts care to believe.
An interesting counter theory was put forth by Professor Don Wise of the University of Massachusetts at Amherst (my alma mater). See his interview about "Incompetent Design". He says that no competent engineer would have used the existing design of the human body, it is just too inefficient. If there was indeed a "greater force" behind the creation of life and the universe, that force would be incompetent, not intelligent.
If there was an "intelligent" force behind our design, would a microscopic bug cause us so much anguish?
I don't think so.
And then I remembered the debate about "Intelligent Design". You know, I understand why some people feel the need to justify evolution in a religious sense. Their brains are telling them that science and evolution make sense, but they cannot give up on the Bible. They feel that in order for such a complex system of materials and life to have been created, an "intelligent force" had to be behind it.
The reality is they just cannot grasp the concept that life on Earth may just be one massive accident, a massive collision of the right ingredients coming together at the right place and the right time. Personally, I believe that this "accident" actually has happened in other parts of the universe, and is probably more common that Intelligent Design enthusiasts care to believe.
An interesting counter theory was put forth by Professor Don Wise of the University of Massachusetts at Amherst (my alma mater). See his interview about "Incompetent Design". He says that no competent engineer would have used the existing design of the human body, it is just too inefficient. If there was indeed a "greater force" behind the creation of life and the universe, that force would be incompetent, not intelligent.
If there was an "intelligent" force behind our design, would a microscopic bug cause us so much anguish?
I don't think so.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Are there Gay Klingons?
If you are a Star Trek follower, then like me, you have wrestled with the following question - "Are there Gay Klingons?".
A Klingon "Biker Bear"?
The Klingons are a mighty warrior race, proud and driven by honor and valor in battle. They also love wine (blood wine, but wine none the less), dress up like leather drag queens and do not allow females on the High Council (interesting). They love Opera, and quote Shakespeare.
The bowels of their capital city are the perfect seedy areas where you would have found any American gay bar in the 70s and 80s. And every secret rendezvous arranged on their home planet of Kronos always happens in these areas (again, interesting).
When female Klingons do force their ways into positions of power, they are almost always bull-dykey:
Despite their menacing ways, the males are often very thoughtful, with genuine affection for the persons (read male) they respect. And their space craft are always very tidy and orderly.
I believe there must be Gay and Lesbian Klingons. They may need to stay underground, but I am sure they exist (and probably have fabulous parties).
Q'apla!!
A Klingon "Biker Bear"?
The Klingons are a mighty warrior race, proud and driven by honor and valor in battle. They also love wine (blood wine, but wine none the less), dress up like leather drag queens and do not allow females on the High Council (interesting). They love Opera, and quote Shakespeare.
The bowels of their capital city are the perfect seedy areas where you would have found any American gay bar in the 70s and 80s. And every secret rendezvous arranged on their home planet of Kronos always happens in these areas (again, interesting).
When female Klingons do force their ways into positions of power, they are almost always bull-dykey:
Despite their menacing ways, the males are often very thoughtful, with genuine affection for the persons (read male) they respect. And their space craft are always very tidy and orderly.
I believe there must be Gay and Lesbian Klingons. They may need to stay underground, but I am sure they exist (and probably have fabulous parties).
Q'apla!!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Open Letter to the National Security Agency
Dear National Security Agency,
I have read in the newspaper that you may be monitoring my blog, email, phone calls, social activities and credit card purchases.
Welcome. I hope you enjoy your visit.
Love,
Jack
I have read in the newspaper that you may be monitoring my blog, email, phone calls, social activities and credit card purchases.
Welcome. I hope you enjoy your visit.
Love,
Jack
Monday, December 26, 2005
The Gift From Hell, Literally
Everyone gets one or two "taste-challenged" gifts during the holidays from well meaning gift givers who do not know any better. You smile and say "how nice" and then start mentally planning your efforts to be rid of it. But how about when you are given a gift that the giver knows you will not like?
Anyone who knows me well knows one quirk about me - I hate clowns. I hate all kinds of clowns. I hate happy clowns, sad clowns, but most importantly, I hate EVIL clowns. But then, they are all evil, with plans on eating us alive, aren't they? Even the word "clown" sends shivers down my spine. Once their true nature was finally exposed in "Poltergeist" and Steven King's "It", I knew my fears were real, and justified.
So, armed with that knowledge, what does the partner present me with on Christmas Eve? A giant Clown Pez dispenser, about 14 inches high. And it is spectacularly evil looking - see for yourself:
Even the Bird will not get near it - I tried to introduce them, but the Bird flew away (which given his wings are clipped, was really not his best decision this week).
This one part of a much larger plan. I get clown paraphanelia for Christmas from him every year - usually a refrigerator magnet or a silly key chain - always a stocking stuffer, always something disposed of quickly by me. Of course, the partner finds all of this extremely amusing. I find it to be...
The Gift From Hell
Anyone who knows me well knows one quirk about me - I hate clowns. I hate all kinds of clowns. I hate happy clowns, sad clowns, but most importantly, I hate EVIL clowns. But then, they are all evil, with plans on eating us alive, aren't they? Even the word "clown" sends shivers down my spine. Once their true nature was finally exposed in "Poltergeist" and Steven King's "It", I knew my fears were real, and justified.
So, armed with that knowledge, what does the partner present me with on Christmas Eve? A giant Clown Pez dispenser, about 14 inches high. And it is spectacularly evil looking - see for yourself:
Even the Bird will not get near it - I tried to introduce them, but the Bird flew away (which given his wings are clipped, was really not his best decision this week).
This one part of a much larger plan. I get clown paraphanelia for Christmas from him every year - usually a refrigerator magnet or a silly key chain - always a stocking stuffer, always something disposed of quickly by me. Of course, the partner finds all of this extremely amusing. I find it to be...
The Gift From Hell
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Are the Harry Potter movie actors getting too old?
There were so many important topics that could have been discussed at my family's holiday dinner table this weekend. Topics of importance that range from the effects of the various disasters of 2005 (tsunami, Katrina), to federal incompetence and general Boobery (Bush administration), to criminal politicians (Frist, Rove, Delay, Bush, Cheney), to the war in Iraq.
Yes, all of these topics were available for debate and discussion. But what really seemed to be bothering everyone the most, and at both ends of the debate was the ever important question, "Are the actors playing Harry, Ron and Hermione getting too old in the Harry Potter movies and should they be replaced?"
Man. The debate raged. One brother feels they are too old and look it. I argued that the actors playing high school kids on "The OC", "Beverly Hills 90210" and "That 70s Show" are all my age. Another brother believes it will all be done by special effects anyway, and that anyone can be any age these days.
We know what is important.
Yes, all of these topics were available for debate and discussion. But what really seemed to be bothering everyone the most, and at both ends of the debate was the ever important question, "Are the actors playing Harry, Ron and Hermione getting too old in the Harry Potter movies and should they be replaced?"
Man. The debate raged. One brother feels they are too old and look it. I argued that the actors playing high school kids on "The OC", "Beverly Hills 90210" and "That 70s Show" are all my age. Another brother believes it will all be done by special effects anyway, and that anyone can be any age these days.
We know what is important.
Friday, December 23, 2005
The Manger
I was thinking about the Nativity scene today, and about the Manger in particular when it occurred to me that I was not entirely certain what a Manger actually was. All I knew about it is that 1) it is found in a stable and 2) Baby Jesus was put into one following his birth. So I decided to look it up and this is what I learned:
Nice. So the savior of humanity was born in a stable and then put into the animal food. When you think about it, there must have been a better place to have this baby. True, the inn was all full and Bethlehem was overrun with people on that particular night (or so the Bible says), but there must have been a park, or a tree to sit under? The Department of Social Services would be all over this.
When you look at Nativity scenes, it always appears that the lambs, cattle and camels all seem to be smiling at the manger, so who knows? Maybe some angel whispered in their ears about the "Son of God, and Host of Hosts, and so on". After all, if I was almighty and my virgin conceived son was about to be born in a stable, I probably would have sent some form of holy cleaning crew down to get the place in order and keep the animals in line.
But another thought comes to mind. Given all the recent discussion about how the Bible was manipulated by the Church, omitting some information and keeping other information, mostly to make Jesus seem so much larger than life (check "Da Vinci Code") - wouldn't the part about being laid in animal food have been changed?
Just a thought. Happy Holidays!
Manger: a container (usually in a barn or stable) from which cattle or horses feed.
Nice. So the savior of humanity was born in a stable and then put into the animal food. When you think about it, there must have been a better place to have this baby. True, the inn was all full and Bethlehem was overrun with people on that particular night (or so the Bible says), but there must have been a park, or a tree to sit under? The Department of Social Services would be all over this.
When you look at Nativity scenes, it always appears that the lambs, cattle and camels all seem to be smiling at the manger, so who knows? Maybe some angel whispered in their ears about the "Son of God, and Host of Hosts, and so on". After all, if I was almighty and my virgin conceived son was about to be born in a stable, I probably would have sent some form of holy cleaning crew down to get the place in order and keep the animals in line.
But another thought comes to mind. Given all the recent discussion about how the Bible was manipulated by the Church, omitting some information and keeping other information, mostly to make Jesus seem so much larger than life (check "Da Vinci Code") - wouldn't the part about being laid in animal food have been changed?
Just a thought. Happy Holidays!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Low Windshield Wiper Fluid Warning
Is this really necessary? I have a 2002 VW Jetta with pretty much all the normal options. I made sure that it had everything that I wanted - asking all the right questions to be sure I would be happy. One question did not occur to me though. That question was "Is there an unnecessary warning that will bellow so loudly and unexpectedly that I will pee my pants when it sounds?" I wish I had asked that question.
Granted, windshield wiper fluid is a good thing. At this time of year, it might even achieve "important" thing. But when you run out, you know. And unlike gasoline, when you run out, your car still functions. A light on the dash indicating "low" is good enough, the terrifying siren is over-doing the criticality of the event. In fact the whole thing is equivalent to the low gas light and alarm - and, sorry, the wiper fluid does not rank as high on the list of critical fluids as the gas.
On a semi-related note - when will they finally begin to make the windshield wiper fluid reservoir in your car the same size as the refill containers they sell at the store? I mean, what remains in the damned replacement after filling the reservoir almost seems pointless to store - it just ends up making all kinds of noise bouncing around the trunk, doesn't it? Is this one of those things like when the air filters of the command module and the L.E.M. did not match in the Apollo 13 disaster?
Granted, windshield wiper fluid is a good thing. At this time of year, it might even achieve "important" thing. But when you run out, you know. And unlike gasoline, when you run out, your car still functions. A light on the dash indicating "low" is good enough, the terrifying siren is over-doing the criticality of the event. In fact the whole thing is equivalent to the low gas light and alarm - and, sorry, the wiper fluid does not rank as high on the list of critical fluids as the gas.
On a semi-related note - when will they finally begin to make the windshield wiper fluid reservoir in your car the same size as the refill containers they sell at the store? I mean, what remains in the damned replacement after filling the reservoir almost seems pointless to store - it just ends up making all kinds of noise bouncing around the trunk, doesn't it? Is this one of those things like when the air filters of the command module and the L.E.M. did not match in the Apollo 13 disaster?
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Nemesis = School Bus
In the city of Boston, apparently there are school bus stops every fifty yards. For the children, this must be extremely convenient. For me, it is something else entirely. NEMESIS.
You know, when I was a kid, it seemed you had to walk half a mile just to get to a bus stop, if you were lucky enough to be inside a "bus zone". In fact, for a while because my family lived almost, but not quite 2 miles from the school, we had to walk the whole way to school.
But these days, kids do not have to walk at all. Some probably walk out the front door in the morning and say to themselves, "which one will I stand at today? The one 25 yards to my right, or the one 25 yards to my left?" Decisions, decisions.
I, though, face other choices regarding these school buses - do I get up extra early this morning so that my drive takes me only 40 minutes, or do I leave at a more decent time and plan on a 1.5 hour drive? Because if you get caught up in the sea of yellow at the beginning of their terror, you will be stuck good.
I am struggling to find a way out of my neighborhood and onto the highway that will avoid these masters of traffic nightmarity, but so far, it appears I am well surrounded.
You know, when I was a kid, it seemed you had to walk half a mile just to get to a bus stop, if you were lucky enough to be inside a "bus zone". In fact, for a while because my family lived almost, but not quite 2 miles from the school, we had to walk the whole way to school.
But these days, kids do not have to walk at all. Some probably walk out the front door in the morning and say to themselves, "which one will I stand at today? The one 25 yards to my right, or the one 25 yards to my left?" Decisions, decisions.
I, though, face other choices regarding these school buses - do I get up extra early this morning so that my drive takes me only 40 minutes, or do I leave at a more decent time and plan on a 1.5 hour drive? Because if you get caught up in the sea of yellow at the beginning of their terror, you will be stuck good.
I am struggling to find a way out of my neighborhood and onto the highway that will avoid these masters of traffic nightmarity, but so far, it appears I am well surrounded.
Monday, December 19, 2005
The Bird - Vocabulary Update
As mentioned in previous posts, the African Gray Parrot Rick, aka "The Bird" is an amazing talker - picking up all kinds of things to say, and knowing the appropriate times to say them (for example, saying "Good Morning" when you stumble out of bed to get coffee, but "good night" when you are turning out the lights to go to bed). African Gray Parrots are great talkers - one famous one named Alex has been featured on Nova and other documentaries about the subject - here is some more detailed info if you are interested.
But I wanted to update you on Rick's two new favorite statements:
"Hi Love" - this is a quick informal greeting, which he uses when you walk into the room and look at him in the eyes - he loves this new greeting - "Hello" has become boring to him, and "Hi" needed some sprucing, so he has chosen "Hi Love" and is saying it all the time (but only to me and the partner - others still get "Hello").
"Are You Okay?" - he has actually said this for a while, but it has recently replaced "How Are You?". He got this from a time when he accidentally flew against a window when startled and fell to the ground - I ran to him and picked him up caringly asking "are you ok?" to calm him down. Not long after that, he started saying it. But now he says it all the time. And he says it in a very caring tone.
Just a little more glimpse into the mind of the "Big Silly Bird" (another thing he says).
But I wanted to update you on Rick's two new favorite statements:
"Hi Love" - this is a quick informal greeting, which he uses when you walk into the room and look at him in the eyes - he loves this new greeting - "Hello" has become boring to him, and "Hi" needed some sprucing, so he has chosen "Hi Love" and is saying it all the time (but only to me and the partner - others still get "Hello").
"Are You Okay?" - he has actually said this for a while, but it has recently replaced "How Are You?". He got this from a time when he accidentally flew against a window when startled and fell to the ground - I ran to him and picked him up caringly asking "are you ok?" to calm him down. Not long after that, he started saying it. But now he says it all the time. And he says it in a very caring tone.
Just a little more glimpse into the mind of the "Big Silly Bird" (another thing he says).
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Joy to the World
Joy to the World..
My Shopping's done..
The Tree is Up and Lit..
Let Everyone, have some fun..
Because I am all done, because I am all done
Because I am - I am - I am all done
My Shopping's done..
The Tree is Up and Lit..
Let Everyone, have some fun..
Because I am all done, because I am all done
Because I am - I am - I am all done
Friday, December 16, 2005
Reverse Commute
Who the hell came up with this expression?
Recently I changed jobs. Everything about the change made sense: outstanding professional growth opportunity, exciting work environment, challenging job duties, interesting and fun co-workers and the ever important dramatic increase in compensation. There was just one questionable change - instead of the 2 mile subway ride to work every morning, I would be driving 25 miles.
Not that I have not commuted by car before - I have. In 1995/96, I even commuted 55 miles each way "against traffic". But it had been ten years, I was not prepared. But not to worry, I was told, I was going to be "reverse commuting" - you see, apparently if you live in the city and work in the suburbs, you do not have any commuting headaches. Huh!
In the time up to my first day, I eagerly prepared for my "reverse commute". I pranced giggling into the Mass Turnpike's "Fast Lane" office (known as "Speed Pass" everywhere else in the US) to finally belong to that elusive club of drivers who could drive right through the tolls. I cleaned out my car, and even filled the tank with gas. I was so excited for my new "reverse commute". I naively believed that I would gayly speed up 128 North from the Pike, looking at all those suckers sitting in traffic trying to get to Boston. NOT.
Instead, in one week I have experienced a snow storm, an ice storm, a "wide load" vehicle that smashed into a toll booth causing miles of endless backup (even for us special Fast Lane transponder holders).
If we, in New England, have a truly awful snowy horrid winter, you can rest assured that the reason will not be atmospheric, or planetary or meteorological in any way. It will just be fate - the fact that it is because this is when I chose to "reverse commute".
Love,
Jack
Recently I changed jobs. Everything about the change made sense: outstanding professional growth opportunity, exciting work environment, challenging job duties, interesting and fun co-workers and the ever important dramatic increase in compensation. There was just one questionable change - instead of the 2 mile subway ride to work every morning, I would be driving 25 miles.
Not that I have not commuted by car before - I have. In 1995/96, I even commuted 55 miles each way "against traffic". But it had been ten years, I was not prepared. But not to worry, I was told, I was going to be "reverse commuting" - you see, apparently if you live in the city and work in the suburbs, you do not have any commuting headaches. Huh!
In the time up to my first day, I eagerly prepared for my "reverse commute". I pranced giggling into the Mass Turnpike's "Fast Lane" office (known as "Speed Pass" everywhere else in the US) to finally belong to that elusive club of drivers who could drive right through the tolls. I cleaned out my car, and even filled the tank with gas. I was so excited for my new "reverse commute". I naively believed that I would gayly speed up 128 North from the Pike, looking at all those suckers sitting in traffic trying to get to Boston. NOT.
Instead, in one week I have experienced a snow storm, an ice storm, a "wide load" vehicle that smashed into a toll booth causing miles of endless backup (even for us special Fast Lane transponder holders).
If we, in New England, have a truly awful snowy horrid winter, you can rest assured that the reason will not be atmospheric, or planetary or meteorological in any way. It will just be fate - the fact that it is because this is when I chose to "reverse commute".
Love,
Jack
Worst. President. Ever.
There is no further need for debate. We now are living under the worst possible executive administration this nation has experienced in modern times. It claims to spread freedom, but is not interested in protecting it at home:
Read the story
I refuse to believe that this is not criminal in nature. Part of me yearns for him to resign, but then we would have to suffer the follies of Cheney, which would be no better.
We have three very dark years ahead of us. At least Congress appears to be getting its head clear:
Senate actually makes a good decision
Read the story
I refuse to believe that this is not criminal in nature. Part of me yearns for him to resign, but then we would have to suffer the follies of Cheney, which would be no better.
We have three very dark years ahead of us. At least Congress appears to be getting its head clear:
Senate actually makes a good decision
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Well this sucks, YET AGAIN!!!!
Oh crap - this is getting too familiar ....
This clearly seems to be setting a pattern. And I know exactly why. Because I just started a new job this week that requires that I drive 20 miles each way (this after ten years of commuting 2 miles, mostly by subway - by the way, you can expect a nice diatribe soon from me about the wonders of commuting, with photos - we don't fool around at What A Bird). I am also one of those staff people who must show during weather events. Therefore, Mother Nature has determined that my life must suck and is getting to it.
And it does not seem to show much promise for next week:
God damn it!
This clearly seems to be setting a pattern. And I know exactly why. Because I just started a new job this week that requires that I drive 20 miles each way (this after ten years of commuting 2 miles, mostly by subway - by the way, you can expect a nice diatribe soon from me about the wonders of commuting, with photos - we don't fool around at What A Bird). I am also one of those staff people who must show during weather events. Therefore, Mother Nature has determined that my life must suck and is getting to it.
And it does not seem to show much promise for next week:
God damn it!
Jerk of the Week
Mitt Romney, Governor of the Commonwealth.
Where do I start? This guy sucks. His administration sucks. What has he managed to do for this state? Sh^t, that's what. And guess what, he wants to be your President.
As for Massachusetts, he clearly does not care. Everything he does now is carefully staged to set a presidential run, not to be the leader of our state. As Andy Hiller of Channel 7 Boston says, his heart is not here, so let him go.
He is not running again for Governor. You might think I would give him a pass on Jerk of the Week for that reason. But, the problem is that he wants to go somewhere else, the White House, and we, the people of Massachusetts, were just his stepping stone.
Massachusetts has sent many people to the Presidential Election, some have won. Most of the time, Massachusetts supports its own in these elections. But if Romney were to somehow be the Republican nominee - MA will vote otherwise.
Where do I start? This guy sucks. His administration sucks. What has he managed to do for this state? Sh^t, that's what. And guess what, he wants to be your President.
As for Massachusetts, he clearly does not care. Everything he does now is carefully staged to set a presidential run, not to be the leader of our state. As Andy Hiller of Channel 7 Boston says, his heart is not here, so let him go.
He is not running again for Governor. You might think I would give him a pass on Jerk of the Week for that reason. But, the problem is that he wants to go somewhere else, the White House, and we, the people of Massachusetts, were just his stepping stone.
Massachusetts has sent many people to the Presidential Election, some have won. Most of the time, Massachusetts supports its own in these elections. But if Romney were to somehow be the Republican nominee - MA will vote otherwise.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Gym Jerk Continued
Total ass. All one of my readers might recall a post I made about proper Gym behavior in which I describe a gym bunny who believes he is somehow more special than everyone else. As in my previous post, which you can review here, he hogs the machines and ignores people who are waiting to use them, despite the incredibly polite signs indicating he must give up the machine between sets while others are working through. He sits on the machines between his sets, and reads People magazine, pretending no one else is there.
I am not sure what annoys me more - the fact I do not get the immediate access to the machine that I want, or the fact this ass believes it is OK to do this. Anyway, tonight I intervened. The conversation went something like this:
I am not sure what annoys me more - the fact I do not get the immediate access to the machine that I want, or the fact this ass believes it is OK to do this. Anyway, tonight I intervened. The conversation went something like this:
Me: (politely) Do you mind if I jump in and do a quick set?Fortunately for every prima donna like him, there are at least 20 cool guys who work within the guidelines and are very considerate.
The Ass: (sighs) Well I still have four to do.
Mind you, he did not specify what "four" meant - reps or sets? By the way, that is gym technobabble people rattle off to sound like they go to the gym often.
Me: (still politely) Well if you are doing four sets, do you mind if I go in during your rest between next two?
The Ass: (annoyed and not hiding it) Fine! Then he gets up - walks away without toweling off his sweaty ick.
Me: (under my breath) Ass...
Chilly?
The weather lady on the radio this morning on the way to work said that tonight we would experience a "chilly" 16 degrees.
Chilly?
Chilly!?
Chilly is a brisk April day, or the morning of the first frost in October. Chilly is the reception you get from your significant other when you stumble home from a night out alone at the clubs. Chilly is how I prefer my very large glasses of Chardonnay. But what Chilly is NOT is 16 degrees. 16 degrees is frickin COLD. Temps have long passed "chilly". Perhaps she was trying to make a funny. But if so, she failed. And to top it off, she was wrong anyway. Instead, we had a chilly 1 degree.
Bitch.
Chilly?
Chilly!?
Chilly is a brisk April day, or the morning of the first frost in October. Chilly is the reception you get from your significant other when you stumble home from a night out alone at the clubs. Chilly is how I prefer my very large glasses of Chardonnay. But what Chilly is NOT is 16 degrees. 16 degrees is frickin COLD. Temps have long passed "chilly". Perhaps she was trying to make a funny. But if so, she failed. And to top it off, she was wrong anyway. Instead, we had a chilly 1 degree.
Bitch.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Well, this sucks, again
Although we are only just starting the season, we have had TWO fairly decent snowstorms already! Crap. And I am just about to start long distance commuting every day again. This figures. The last time I had to long distance commute daily was during the winter of 1996, when it snowed practically every freaking day.
Oh well, at least it is nice for the holiday season. But I really could have done without the thunder and lightning - that was sort of strange for a howling snow storm.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
"Shower"
UPDATED 12/8 with pics......
Ok, so it has been a while since I wrote about "the Bird". But here is a cute story.
Last night, "the partner" decided that the Bird needed a shower. He decided this because Rick has this habit of going for a bath in his water bowl and making a real mess. The bird loves to get wet and take a "shower". He actually says "shower" every time he hears the water running. So the partner takes out Rick's spray bottle and sprays him down. The bird is loving this, flapping his wings and getting all kissy-lovey.
When done, the bird is soaking wet, his feathers are so "scrinkled" (?) that you can see clear down to his skin. At this point, you realize just how weird a bird looks - they have the strangest little bodies, with the scrawniest of necks.
At this point, the bird is all happy and giving us kisses and spending long amounts of time preening his feathers getting all nice and "pretty" (he also says "what a PRETTY bird" into the mirror). So I walk up to him and he puts his head down to let me kiss the top of it, which he loves. And he quietly says "I love you".
And I smile.
Ok, so it has been a while since I wrote about "the Bird". But here is a cute story.
Last night, "the partner" decided that the Bird needed a shower. He decided this because Rick has this habit of going for a bath in his water bowl and making a real mess. The bird loves to get wet and take a "shower". He actually says "shower" every time he hears the water running. So the partner takes out Rick's spray bottle and sprays him down. The bird is loving this, flapping his wings and getting all kissy-lovey.
When done, the bird is soaking wet, his feathers are so "scrinkled" (?) that you can see clear down to his skin. At this point, you realize just how weird a bird looks - they have the strangest little bodies, with the scrawniest of necks.
At this point, the bird is all happy and giving us kisses and spending long amounts of time preening his feathers getting all nice and "pretty" (he also says "what a PRETTY bird" into the mirror). So I walk up to him and he puts his head down to let me kiss the top of it, which he loves. And he quietly says "I love you".
And I smile.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Well, this sucks
My favorite line from the movie "Madagascar" is the very end. The penguins, who mastermind the whole escape from the NY zoo so they can finally get home to Antarctica (a place they have never seen), finally make it to Antarctica and with howling snow and wind, one turns to the others and says, "well this sucks". Marvelous.
Today, I have a similar feeling. Snow has returned, and well, it sucks. Last spring, some birds built a big old nest in the yard next door, clearly visible from our bedroom window. We watched them move in, have some young, teach them to fly, then disappear when it got colder. Today, it sits alone and quite cold:
Oh well, "cycle of life" and blah, blah. At least it was a pretty picture out the window, first snow of the season and all. But let's not make it a habit.
Today, I have a similar feeling. Snow has returned, and well, it sucks. Last spring, some birds built a big old nest in the yard next door, clearly visible from our bedroom window. We watched them move in, have some young, teach them to fly, then disappear when it got colder. Today, it sits alone and quite cold:
Oh well, "cycle of life" and blah, blah. At least it was a pretty picture out the window, first snow of the season and all. But let's not make it a habit.
Friday, December 02, 2005
"Desperate Housewives" is nothing compared to "Knots"
"Knots Landing" had to be one of the best nighttime soaps ever - as they refer to it "the original 'Desperate Housewives'". But DW is nowhere near the League Knots was in. Tonight CBS remembers:
Jerk of the Week
Scott McClellan, White House Press Secretary and American Baghdad Bob, mouthpiece of Karl Rove and Dick Cheney.
Today he said it was "irresponsible" for democrats to criticize the White House plan for success in Iraq.
See Story
Hello!!!??? Does he live here? Has he (or anyone in the administration) studied the Bill of Rights? The Constitution? It is their duty to criticize our leadership to be certain we are being well led. And these days, we most certainly are not being well led.
I mean, isn't it for these same rights we are fighting in Iraq, to give them to the Iraqi people?
It is HIS irresponsible statement, with its echoes of Nazi Germany, that earns him "Jerk of the Week".
Today he said it was "irresponsible" for democrats to criticize the White House plan for success in Iraq.
See Story
Hello!!!??? Does he live here? Has he (or anyone in the administration) studied the Bill of Rights? The Constitution? It is their duty to criticize our leadership to be certain we are being well led. And these days, we most certainly are not being well led.
I mean, isn't it for these same rights we are fighting in Iraq, to give them to the Iraqi people?
It is HIS irresponsible statement, with its echoes of Nazi Germany, that earns him "Jerk of the Week".
It sounds like Hollywood
This story is great - Disney could do it justice, even if it has been done before:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/12/01/emily.cat.ap/index.html
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/12/01/emily.cat.ap/index.html
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